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biblical counseling

The Anger Mandate

May 6, 2020 by Joe Kappel

by Pastor Al Cage

Anger is a complicated emotion that is often readily displayed but difficult to understand.  Yet, God intended anger to be used by believers for His glory and their good. After all, the Bible clearly teaches, “Be angry and do not sin” (Eph. 5:22).  This simple phrase frames the wonderful opportunity presented for believers to use anger to honor God.   

In a fallen world, sinners are easily disposed to display anger in ways that dishonor God and harm others.  To change this narrative, it is imperative to examine what the bible teaches on anger.  With straightforward clarity, the Apostle Paul breaks the anger mandate down into two components: a) “be” angry; and b) do not sin.  Paul’s exhortation is unnervingly clear in its meaning, yet it presents a slippery slope that is difficult to navigate in practice. Nevertheless, faithful obedience is required regardless of the difficult challenges inherent with complying to this mandate.

To assist in addressing the “Anger Mandate”, a good place to start is by addressing the “be angry” component.  Noted biblical author and seminary professor Robert Jones helps us to understand biblically what anger is by declaring,

“Anger in Scripture conveys emotion, spanning the spectrum from red-hot rage to icy-blue rejection. But it always involves beliefs and motives, perceptions and desires. And the Bible describes it in behavioral terms that are rich and graphic.  Yet the Bible does not slice the pie into neat analytic categories. Anger is more than mere emotion, volition, cognition, or behavior. Scripture resists simplistic schemes. Anger is complex. It comprises the whole person and encompasses our whole package of beliefs, feelings, actions, and desires.”[1] 

Jones accurately points that anger unfailingly engages the whole person.  Failing to recognize this feeds the tendency to compartmentalize anger as a means to control it.  Unfortunately, using this approach to manage anger often results in the script being flipped—instead of anger being controlled, it becomes the controller.  Under this scenario, anger manifests itself on one hand as a highly volatile eruption, i.e. “red-hot rage”, or on the other hand, it is displayed as cold-blooded indifference, i.e. “icy-blue rejection”.  The entire spectrum that is framed by these extremes is highly destructive and destroys the use of anger as a gift from God.

Now, let’s be clear, God intended for anger to spring out of strong intensity.  That is exactly what Jesus modeled when he tossed the money changers from the temple (Matt. 21:12-17).  Whenever God’s standards are violated, righteous indignation is appropriate.  That is the essence of “be angry”.  When God’s standards are set aside for any reason a whole person response is required.  But—and this is the important consideration—the righteous display of anger must always spring only from a violation of God’s standards. The latitude to “be angry” is very restrictive, and to stray from what angers God is to sin.  In other words, “don’t be angry” over anything that would NOT anger God.

So, if there is a clear mandate to “be angry”, what should “do not sin” look like?  David Powlison, a well-respected Biblical Counselor, offers this helpful insight on the issue,

“It’s hard to do anger right.  Your struggle with anger (and mine) will last a lifetime, but it can go somewhere good. We can learn to deal with anger differently. This book is not about “solving” anger problems. That word “solve” suggests that we can arrive. Give us some answers, change some behaviors, and—just like that—no more problems. It suggests that bad anger is simply a bad habit. But anger is not a problem to solve. It’s a human capacity—like sex, happiness, and sorrow. It is a complex human response to a complex world. And like all human capacities and responses, it sometimes works well, but too often goes bad. Anger creates problems. But having and expressing the right kind of anger in the right way is a good goal.”[2]

The ”Anger Mandate” requires us to not suppress anger, but rather to express it in a Godly manner.  First, distinguishing what kind of anger is boiling up inside (righteous – a violation of God’s standard; or unrighteous – a violation of your standard), the stage is set for what should occur next.  That expression may come through biblical discipline (Heb. 12:5-11).  At other times, grace and mercy should dominate (Eph. 4:31,32).  If the anger is unrighteous, do whatever it takes to dissipate the emotion.  Start by examining what is truly driving the anger, and if required, change an ungodly standard to align with biblical principles.

If anger results from violation of a biblical mandate, it is always best to proceed with caution.  Begin by asking the Lord for wisdom (James 1:5).  Next, remember that you are not immune from falling to the same kind of struggle (Gal. 6:7-10).  Consider if ignoring the issue would be the better approach (Prov. 19:11).  Finally, if displaying anger is best, do so with a spirit of love (Col. 3:13-23).  Always consider if the Lord would be better served by moving on and dissipating your anger.

Anger gets a bad rap and justifiably so.   Too often believers ignore the fact that anger is a gift from God to be used to serve his purposes over our own.  Are you able to “be angry and sin not”?  If there is any wavering at all to answering this question with a resounding “YES”, be very careful.  To dish out unrighteous anger is a great way for God’s indignation to fall on you.  And for that to occur, whatever perceived benefit you falsely thought you might receive by unleashing your unrighteous anger, anger is just not worth it.

 

[1] Jones, Robert D., Uprooting Anger: Biblical Help for a Common Problem (P&R Publishing, Kindle Locations 159-164).

[2] Powlison, David. Good and Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining, and Bitterness (New Growth Press. Kindle Edition).

Filed Under: Counsel for the Heart Tagged With: anger, Angry, biblical counseling, Sin

The True Paradigm of Perfect Peace

April 29, 2020 by Joe Kappel

Louis Armstrong sings a popular secular holiday song with a peaceful soothing melody and the words “And I say to myself, it’s a wonderful world.” Yet the majority of people on any given day would probably not agree with that wonderful world sentiment. With the current health crisis, political divisiveness, economic unrest and acts of terror nationally and globally, many would say the peaceful world implied in this song is a pipe dream. Yet counselees often come for counseling hoping that someone can help them make this peace filled pipe dream a reality.

When a person comes to me with a desire for peace in life, together, we first have to uncover their peace paradigm. How do they define peace? Unbelievers and believers alike often think of peace as the absence of war. No trouble or conflict. Everybody loves Raymond, right? It’s a peace paradigm based on circumstances, experiences and situations. Yet, if we look at Jesus’ life, the circumstances, experiences and situations that the Prince of Peace found Himself in do not fit the false peace paradigm that is promoted by many today.

Jesus himself said, “Do not think I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father… and a man’s enemies will be members of his household” (Matt 10:34-36). Jesus came to save man from the penalty of sin, not circumstances. The unsaved around us are His enemies and thus ours; even in our own households. Thus, in this world of sin, there will be no lasting earthly peace. He told the disciples before His crucifixion, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Jesus is saying earthly peace with man and the eternal peace of God are two different concepts, and He wants to gift us with the latter. Earthly peace is transient, here today, gone tomorrow. Eternal peace, God’s gift to us, is an everlasting part of our new spiritual DNA.

Jesus’ peace requires a paradigm shift. He did not come to merely alleviate our circumstances resulting from sin, or to end all wars, global or familial; though he can certainly do these things. He came to save our sinful souls. It is in the saving of our souls that we find eternal peace so that our hearts are not troubled or afraid in any earthly environment or predicament because we trust the one who holds our future in His hands. We know that upon salvation we receive the Holy Spirit and peace is an integral part of the fruit of the Spirit. This fruit is within every believer, and matures within each one of us as we are progressively conformed to the image of Christ through consistent prayer, study, and application of God’s Word.

Scripture does tell us in Romans 12:18 we are to live peaceably with all men as much as possible so that we can point them to the source of true peace. So men, if in your quest for peace you bought her that 24 carat round brilliant cut diamond ring, don’t take it back! But the next time you forget a birthday, or your anniversary or the eggs on your quarantine grocery store list…don’t be surprised if you’re back on the couch. Ladies, if he bought that Yamaha motorcycle instead of a family vacation, it is okay; let it goooo♫. He’ll figure it out. Statistics don’t lie. EBAY awaits. And girlfriend, if you are at war with yourself over that triple layer slice of double chocolate cake you just peacefully ate, then, you definitely know how fleeting earthly peace can be.

So are you looking for temporary earthly peace or eternal perfect peace? Will you trust God and ask him to mature eternal peace in your life regardless of your circumstances? The true peace paradigm for believers is not based on feelings; it is based on the presence of the Holy Spirit and His peace. So get busy, and in everything through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving  make this request for peace known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus (from Phil 4:6,7).

You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Isa 26:3

Terri Cage (4.27.20)

Filed Under: Counsel for the Heart Tagged With: acts of terror, biblical counseling, economic unrest, Peace, peace paradigm, political divisiveness, Prayer

Counsel for the Heart (Introduction)

April 27, 2020 by Joe Kappel

Years ago during seminary I attended a church that memorized scripture together over the course of one year. Of all the excellent content I received in seminary, that year of memorizing scripture was one of the things that most rooted me in the Faith.

Consider what has helped you to grow most as a Christian. What would you attribute to your endurance in following Jesus?

No doubt if you traced those lines of help and influencers down to the source you would see again and again God’s Word has been your lifeline.

Over the course of the next couple of weeks I will be writing a new devotional series called “Counsel for the Heart.” Each weekday I will focus on a common area of heart need that is commonly coming up in biblical counseling during Covid19. Fear, anxiety and worry, depression, anger, addictions, feelings of abandonment by God, and so much more comes up as people have reached out to me and others. As much as we tire of hearing about Covid19, it has provided many opportunities for us to renew our faith and come back to confidence in God by His Word.

In addition to my devotion series you will see accompanying articles written by the biblical counselors of our church. They want all of us to see that life is blessed as we submit to the Lord Jesus and live in obedience to Him.

Above all we know that God’s Word is life-giving! And as I conclude this brief introduction of the series I invite you to memorize a passage with me this week. Work on these verses, meditating on them, asking the Holy Spirit to help you internalize the message. You and I will need this passage always, but especially for times of fear that come up out of seemingly nowhere. I will write more about fear tomorrow and the rest of this week.

Hebrews 13:5–6

[5] Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” [6] So we can confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper;
I will not fear;
what can man do to me?” (ESV)

Getting to the Heart:

In this section each day I will ask a question or two or offer a reflection of my own for you to meditate on. For today, consider what this verse says: we can put our confidence in either money or God. One of the draws of money is that if we just get enough of it we can potentially live without fear. The Bible says that is a false assurance. Why?

  • Why is trusting in what money can provide a dangerous hope?
  • According to these verses, how do we know we can trust the Lord?

Prayer: 

Holy Lord, Maker of every human heart, we seek Your blessing on your Word in our lives. Your Word leads to life! To whom else can we go but You? Please use this series on Counsel for the Heart to bring about good in our lives. Please change us to be like our beloved Lord Jesus. Help us by Your Holy Spirit to walk in Your Word with faith. Lift up those who are struggling and tempted by sin. Lead none of us into temptation. You are worthy of our undivided hearts, Father, and we give ourselves again to You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Worship in Song:

Christ Our Glory

I’ve had this song on repeat recently. It has gospel-rich truths in it, and these lines stick in my head:

“Our rest is in heaven, our rest is not here
Then why should we tremble when trials draw near?
Be still and remember the worst that can come
But shortens our journey and hastens us home”

Filed Under: Articles, Bible Study, Counsel for the Heart Tagged With: abandonment, addictions, anger, anxiety, Bible, biblical counseling, counsel, covid19, depression, fear, God's Word, worry

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