West Park Baptist Church

self-control

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Abide: Self-Control

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. (Proverbs 25:28)

Walls around the cities of old provided protection from invaders without and freedoms for the people within. Many cities today still have some of those ancient walls and provide a stunning visual reminder of that protection. Lugo, Spain, Xi’an, China, and Jerusalem, Israel are some of the few beautiful walled cities remaining in the world.

What do city walls have to do with us today? I can’t help but think of the disorder we continue to see play out in our country and what Proverbs 25:28 has to say about it. Walls around New York City, Minneapolis or Houston won’t stop the looting and violence happening there, but self-control by God’s Spirit could. Just like walls around a city provide protection from without, self-control provides a man or woman protection from within.

Self-control is the last aspect of the Spirit’s fruit that we’ll examine. Let’s meditate today on how to cultivate self-control in our daily lives.

The Apostle Paul wrote the most about self-control in the New Testament. Peter mentioned it twice (1 Pet. 4:7; 2 Pet. 1:6), but Paul either wrote about it or is mentioned talking about it 15 times. When he was on trial before Felix, Paul’s message was about “righteousness, self-control and the coming judgment” (Acts 24:25). Paul mentioned self-control as crucial for single and married believers (1 Corinthians 7:5; 1 Corinthians 7:9), essential for older men (Titus 2:2), younger men (Titus 2:6) elders (1 Timothy 3:2), women (1 Timothy 2:9) and every believer (Galatians 5:23)! Self-control is crucial for Christian growth and helps to enhance every other aspect of the Spirit’s fruit.

But how hard it is to exercise self-control! When someone comes to you with the same problem for the tenth time it’s hard to have self-control when you know they won’t listen to sound advice. It’s hard when you see a sweet dessert and take an extra piece… or two. Some are in crucial need of self-control so they don’t use drugs, look at pornography or turn to drunkenness for false support. You know and I know that we need self-control. But sometimes our inner lives feel like the riots we see happening on the streets: our desires running amok, causing trouble, and fighting against our better desires. What can we do to grow in self-control?

1) Remember that self-control is a gift; a Fruit of the Spirit. God purposed when He saved you to make you a self-controlled person. But He has not left you alone to become that. Jesus our Lord was self-controlled always. He won the battle against all temptation. When He said “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak,” He didn’t give in to the weakness of the flesh. But for all the lack of self-control you are guilty of, Jesus died. For the weaknesses of your flesh, Jesus suffered and died. This is our ground of hope, and we can only cultivate self-control when we come to Jesus in faith, recognizing that in Him and by His strength we will grow in self-control.

2) Self-control is also a fight. The fight is not against other people but against our own wrong desires. Take this encouragement to get in the fight! Long ago a post by John Piper called A.N.T.H.E.M. encouraged me when I had seemingly no control over my feelings of anxiety and depression. Looking up the article you’ll see that it’s about combating lust, but the solutions Piper mentions are helpful no matter what your lack of self-control. Above all, get in the fight.

3) Self-control is a community project. I’m struck by Paul’s continued appeal for self-control from everyone in the church – every age group, each gender, regardless of marital status. It is crucial that we bring areas where we are out of bounds and have no self-control into the light. One of the indispensable ways to do this is to open up to a trusted friend who will hold you accountable and point you to the hope of Jesus Christ. Remember that article I shared above? I first got that from a friend that I had confided in about my battle with depression and anxiety. He was always faithful to pray for me and urge me to keep fighting. Where are you walking in the dark with no self-control? Who should you talk to about that today?

Friends, above all, seek the Lord for self-control. It is His desire that you learn to rule your spirit, and He will produce the fruit of self-control in you.

A song in closing? How about Give Me Self-Control. This is a kids song from Sovereign Grace Ministries that we’ve listened to as a family on car rides. “Lord, I’m needy, so I’m pleading: Come and fill me; help me to be self-controlled.”

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control

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Counsel for the Heart: Bearing Spiritual Fruit (Gal. 5:22-23)

Would you like to know a guaranteed way to glorify God?

The Lord told us in John 15:8 –

“By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.”

We glorify God by bearing much fruit. Today we go back into Galatians 5:22-23 to examine more closely the fruit of the Spirit. By knowing what type of fruit the Holy Spirit produces we will grow in opportunities to glorify our Father. This is also our memory passage, so remember to meditate and memorize as you read today.

Galatians 5:22–23

[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (ESV)

Getting to the Heart:

One of the most helpful things we can do with this list of spiritual fruit is to understand what each part of the fruit means, what it replaces, and even what tends to be a counterfeit version of each part. I’ve been helped so much by the Bible study resource Galatians for You by Tim Keller1, and I’ve created a chart below based on his helpful explanation of the fruit of the Spirit.

Fruit  Definition Opposite Counterfeit
Love Love and care for a person based on their good, not on what they bring to you Self-protection; self-promotion Attraction for someone based on what they add to you or how they make you feel
Joy Happiness and delight in God for Who He is and what He does in the world Hopelessness; depression Happiness based on changing circumstances
Peace Confidence and rest in the sovereign wisdom and control of God Anxiety and fear Not caring about something; feeling indifferent
Patience The ability to stand up under the pressures of life without lashing out in anger toward God and others Resentment toward God and others Cynical lack of care
Kindness Motivation that serves others for their good in a practical way, out of a sense of complete inner security in Christ Envy; refusal to rejoice in another’s prosperity Serving others to ultimately manipulate them or prove to God or others our worth.
Goodness Also means integrity; being one person or the same person wherever you are Hypocrisy Speaking your mind and not holding back truth to make yourself feel better or look good
Faithfulness To be absolutely trustworthy and always true to your word Being a friend only in good times Being loving but never willing to confront when needed
Gentleness Humility, specifically self-forgetfulness, prioritizing others and responding calmly even when they are aggressive Attitude of superiority or self-absorption Spirit of inferiority, speaking ill about yourself
Self-control Ability to endure in hard times by focusing on the important not the urgent Impulsiveness or recklessness Willpower to endure difficulties to prove your worth or strength

Sometimes it’s necessary to slow down in our Bible reading and really dig in to specific words to better know the Lord’s message. This passage with this list is a case in point: we need to really understand these aspects of the Spirit’s fruit. It’s all so we can bear the fruit that brings joy and glory to our Father.

Today a group of men came to our home to cut down some trees that we had let grow over the years but that had become a nuisance. It is amazing how much more light, area to grow other things and even just to play in that the removal of those trees provided.

Walking in the Spirit is like that, I think. All of us have some motivating attitudes that are contrary to the fruit of the Spirit. Jesus came to deliver us from that ruling flesh that loves to assert self and sow destructive works. The Holy Spirit is the power to come in and chop those works down at their root level and open up your life to the light and freedom of God (Gal. 5:1).

Let’s talk it over:

  • Where are you seeing growth this week in the Spirit?
  • Do you see any opposites in your attitudes and actions?
  • Do you spot any counterfeits to the Spirit’s fruit?

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, we believe that it is for freedom that You came to set us free. That freedom is the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control that the Spirit produces. This is the fruit we see in You, Lord. We love You because of who You are and how You shared that fruit with people all the time. There was never a time when You were not bearing fruit, and You are worthy of the greatest freedom and joy. Yet You took on our record of fleshly works and received the punishment for reckless, self-absorbed living that defied God and defiled our fellow man. Oh, we love and thank You for paying for those many many sins. But we love and thank You all the more that now You share Your Spirit with us so that we might walk with You and experience what You alone deserve. Help us to glorify our Father by bearing much fruit today. Amen.

Worship in Song:

His Mercy is More

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  1. Galatians for You resource by Tim Keller. Pages 141-142 used for the chart above.